


It's no good

by Potix



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Celebrity Crush, Darcy as a member of the Cumbercollective, F/M, Gen, Jealous!Loki, Loki/Tony/Bruce friendship, Romance/Humor, darcy is a fangirl, everyone loves Benedict Cumberbatch but Loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 21:17:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1362079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potix/pseuds/Potix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a one-shot with Jealous!Loki. Inspired by "It's no good" by Depeche Mode and by a real life experience...</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's no good

**Author's Note:**

> As usual I don't own anything. Marvel owns Darcy, Loki, and every other characters I will mention here...minus the real ones. And Martin Gore owns the lyrics, and I will thank him forever and again for that...

_Don't say you want me_  
Don't say you need me  
Don't say you love me  
It's understood  
Don't say you're happy  
Out there without me  
I know you can't be  
'Cause it's no good

**It's no good- Depeche Mode**

* * *

 

It started with a text. Loki sent her a rather kinky one, containing a detailed description of what he was planning to do to her later at home – he could have simply told Darcy, since they were both in Jane's laboratory at Stark Tower, but he truly enjoyed seeing her all flustered and blushing in the office.

This time, however, something was different : his text's arrival was not announced by the usual default tone, but by  _ **his**_  voice.  _ **His**_  sultry, deep baritone voice, announcing his text.

"Well, enough is enough !" the green eyed monster in his mind roared. "You need to get rid of  _ **him**_. Now !"

He glared at her and stormed out of the room, leaving his mate confused by his sudden escape. He teleported directly in Tony Stark and Bruce Banner office, and started pacing in front of the two surprised superheroes.

"Not that I'm not happy to admire your walk, but what are you doing here, Rock of Ages ?" Tony Stark inquired.

The God opened and closed his mouth two times, then stuttered "I can't...I-I- it's impossible,a-and outrageous! I'm a God, do you understand - and I'm not metaphorically speaking, I'm a  _ **real God**_  !"

Tony stood up from his stool and murmured to Bruce "I think someone-or something broke Loki". Then he carefully approached the " _real God"_  and put a hand on his shoulder "Now, Reindeer Games. Sit down and start from the very beginning"

Loki was so distressed that he obeyed immediately and laid down on the ottoman in front of Banner and Stark.

"You must understand that this has never happened to me. I have had other women, stories of no importance, and none of them was like Lady Darcy. I don't want to sound like Thor when he talks about Lady Jane, but she's different, and she makes me a different God. A better God. I could never have imagined that she...that she...".

Bruce spoke for the first time. "We all know that you love her, and that she loves you. We all witnessed your little escapades in the closet last month..." he concluded, rather disgusted.

"And someone told me that there used to be also a filmed version..it's unfortunate that your girlfriend managed to confiscate it from Jarvis..." Tony interjected, and both Bruce and Loki glared at him. "But please, feel free to continue..."

"You all know that we share a place of residence" he continued.

Both the superheroes gestured him to continue.

"We get along very well: she's maybe not the tidiest woman in the world, and sometimes she seems to suffer from verbal diarrhea, but she's loyal,beautiful,and quite intelligent for being a mortal...and obviously, we have a healthy sexual life...". Tony and Bruce interrupted him "Please,spare us the details !"

"So, we are happy – as someone says the other day, we' re still in what you Midgardian call the "honeymoon phase"- and then suddenly  _ **he**_  appears". Loki concluded with an angry tone.

"Who is he ?" Tony asked, rather curious. He was Darcy confident, a figure between a best friend and a father - like the cool uncle who gives you awesome presents, helps you with the most dangerous pranks and gives you advice when you don't know what to do. So he was sure Darcy would have at least said something to him, if things were starting to become rocky between Loki and her. Bruce seemed to be lost as well.

Loki didn't acknowledge Tony's question and went on. "He's everywhere...we arrive at home, she says to me  _"Why don't we watch a dvd?"_  and I foolishly answer  _"Yes,why not,dear?"_  and  _ **he**_  shows himself and she forgets about me! It seems there's only  _ **him**_  in the room! And after that, she finds some magazines and they're talking about him! Just a few minutes ago, I sent her a text and I heard  _ **his**_ voice! It's unacceptable!" he shouted.

Tony and Bruce were completely puzzled. "Has this guy a name ?" Bruce asked, a little afraid of Loki's reaction. He was the God that nearly destroyed Manhattan because he was envious of his big brother, what could he do if his girlfriend was leaving him for another man, a mortal one?

"Yes, he has a name... a rather ridiculous one, really." Loki muttered something unintelligible.

Tony now was exasperated. "What ?!"

"Benedict Cumberbatch! That's the name! How could someone have a more bizarre and absurd name?"

Bruce remained silent for a moment, then he said " I don't know any guy with this name...does he work for S.H.I.E.L.D. ? Is he employed here at the Tower ?"

Tony replied quickly "He's not. He's an english actor, nothing more. Darcy has only a celebrity crush". And then he burst into laughter,soon followed by Bruce.

Loki was deeply offended. He thought that these two puny humans would understand his pain, and maybe help him to come up with a plain to eliminate that obnoxious british guy, with those ridiculous cheekbones, his annoying voice and those awful strange lips...maybe he could kidnap him, and then send him faraway, Muspelheim seemed the perfect place...and then he would have Darcy's attention only for him,again...

Tony noticed Loki's thoughtful expression, and interrupted his daydream. "Listen, God of Mischief, we all have been in your place...Pepper squeaks every time she hears that  _"Chris Martin"_  guy sing a new song...I don't know how many Coldplay concerts she went to last year...".

Bruce intervened "My niece Rachel is absolutely in love with this other British guy, she's always on Tumblr posting new pictures and animated gifs...I think his name is Tom Hiddleston, or something like that..."

"It's something harmless, Loki. You're jealous, I understand it...you don't know how many times I prayed that singer would lost his voice, or that I could convince Fury to lock him up in a cellar...but in the end, after all the compliments, and the sighs, they're  _ **our**_  women. Not theirs. So stop plotting his death, and go back to your girl...she seems quite worried" Tony stopped and gestured towards Darcy, who was waiting outside the office's glass door.

Loki rose from the sofa and opened the door swiftly. Darcy looked at him with anxious eyes. "Is there a problem? Is everything alright ?".

He looked down at her. "Yes,dear. Everything is fine. You're mine,aren't you ?"

She smiled and reached on her tiptoes to kiss him passionately. " Of course I am. How could you doubt it ?"

**Author's Note:**

> So? what do you think ? I admit I may be a little obsessed with Benedict Cumberbatch...just a little...


End file.
